Long Distance





"Missing someone gets easier each day because even though you're one day further from the last time you saw them, you're one day closer to seeing them again."

We need to talk. Look, this long distance relationship with London... it's.... it's not working. I need at least a brief conjugal visit soon. Very soon. I can't take the sleepless nights of frustration that I'm not there, I can't take my constant state of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), is it missing me as much as I'm missing it? How long til I see it again?!

Ok so I might be being slightly dramatic about all of this,
I am having a rather wonderful time at home and even if I do spend most of my time wishing I was elsewhere, I've made peace with the fact that this is where I am, and this is where I have to be.
And I have to say, it's really not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Living with my parents isn't as challenging as I'd expected, my social life hasn't taken the nosedive I'd anticipated and there is the added bonus of every day life being affordable, instead of the luxury that it seemed whilst living in London.

It may be because I genuinely feel like I'm just visiting and I'll be back in London a few days. Back with my friends going to G-A-Y Late  from job to job looking for some remnants of stability. Especially with the run up to Christmas, it feels like I'm on my annual (albeit extended) Christmas visit home, regardless of it only being November.


There are a couple of jobs in the pipeline for me, but as of yet, nothing is concrete and the novelty of having so much free time has already worn thin. Especially with the constant erosion of my patience when I see the type of people who do have jobs, or at least, are getting jobs. I see people in retail or other customer service roles for example, who are as miserable as sin, completely unhappy to help and seem to not know anything about their job or their workplace. And God forbid you ask them something related to another department "I don't know, that's not my department, ask someone else." The notion of  "Service with a smile" has seemingly been completely eradicated, as has the hiring of anyone with an IQ level in double figures. And yet here I am, a sensible, articulate, reasonably intelligent, graduate who's eager to not only work, but to succeed, and I'm the one living on a tight budget while the dumb and the careless are laughing all the way to the bank! Are you honestly trying to tell me that I'm suddenly on the same level as the zombies with impossibly strong accents that I'm forced to be surrounded by every fortnight at Job Centre Plus? If so, kill me now. And that's not snobbery talking, it's genuinely upsetting to me that after working towards a bright future for my entire adolescence to avoid this exact situation that I'm in, I am now sociologically on par with the JC regulars.

Also, I know that I'm not reaching above my means, I'm applying for jobs that I not only know I can do, but jobs I know I can do well. Many places have labelled me "too inexperienced" and yet no one seems to be willing to give me any experience. And yes, I am a little inexperienced because I am fresh out of university afterall! Excuse me for getting an education. Also, why did you bother wasting both of our times in inviting me to an interview, then only to turn me down for being "too inexperienced" when you'd already seen my CV which includes my entire professional experience?! UUGH!! I despair.



As you may have detected... there is a slight hint of bitterness in my writing, but I've had many a "Why did I even bother?" moment this month. Nevertheless, I am still, somehow, optimistic. I've always been ambitious, I very rarely doubt myself, and that is something that will aid me in succeeding in life... it's got me this far!... Oh... wait...


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