Gucci, Ralph Lauren, Hermès
So this season GQ is telling us men to don a turtleneck, it appears it is the must-have knitwear of the season. That's right, the chest-broadening, neck-shortening, double chin-creating turtleneck is apparently trying to make a comeback. Please someone stop this madness.
Fearful that the lightweight turtlenecks above aren't to your taste? Don't panic, how about some heavier turtlenecks to swamp you head even more?
Dolce and Gabbana, Jil Sander
Even the models look awkward.
Perhaps I'm missing the mark here and there is something "European old school cool" about a turtleneck. But all I can think of is tacky 1970s men in flares and corduroy blazers with gold chains around the outside of their turtlenecks, signet rings, thick moustaches and mutton chops, oh and let's not forget - a cigar. In short, a 70s porn star.
Not that I'm stereotyping an entire breed of man that wears this type of attire, I would actually love for someone to prove me wrong, but when wearing a turtleneck, I would instantly feel the need to acquire all the things I listed above, and perhaps to point and wink at all the lovely ladies that walk pass me as I strut down the street .
But for now I think I'll leave this trend for someone else to attempt to pull off, for I am not David Starsky, I am not Kenneth "Hutch" Hutchinson, and let's be honest,
no one is as cool as Ron Burgundy.