Blogger's Block

"I'm a connoisseur of roads.
I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end.
It probably goes all around the world."

Now I know I haven't blogged in a long while, to be quite honest this has merely been because I haven't had much to say. Between looking for a house, looking for a job, starting my second year at university and just downright enjoying myself, my life hasn't really been that eventful of late and I therefore haven't had much to report or comment on.
I often get like this. I consider myself to be rather introverted, always in my head, always thinking and yet now and then my fountain of creativity can temporarily dry up. Instead of posting meaningless crap and just generally cluttering up my blog, I would much rather wait until something comes to me, something of substance, something actually worth blogging about, rather than blogging for the sake of blogging (which far too many people are guilty of).

A very good friend of mine gave me some of the best advice I've had recently "You can go to all the parties and know all these fabulous people, but it doesn't pay the bills". Sane, simple, sound advice. Another acquaintance of mine mused "Go out as much as you can, meet as many people as you can and just work on getting yourself out there. These girls that go home every weekend to be with their boyfriends will get nowhere." Two very different pieces of advice, both of which I have to agree with. The message here is, that although making contacts and social events are vital, it is important to stay grounded, don't get too wrapped up in it all. Keep your priorities right - party your ass off, meet important people, but remember you have bills to pay and probably a mountain of other responsibilities.

Although I am a very sociable person, and consider myself fairly easy to get along with, I have often struggled to create really strong affinities with people. With huge age gaps between my sisters and I, I felt very much like an only child and spent a lot of my childhood either alone or with my parents (I've been called a "mummy's boy" far too many times to count). I consider this to be why I find it difficult to spend too much time with the same person/people. I've been mistaken for a social butterfly, a social climber, but in reality it's not that I'm flitting between friendship groups, I'm merely trying to find my way in the world, trying to figure out where (if anywhere) I fit in and in what kind of tribe of people I belong. Which to be honest, I'm really enjoying, I've met some incredible people and made some amazing friends along the way.

At twenty years of age I am still constantly learning about myself. Getting older is a constant education. I truly envy people who are so sure within themselves, they know exactly who they are, what they want and where they're going. I've always had a rough idea, but have never pinned down any specifics. Perhaps this has saved me from being even more overly-ambitious and setting myself up for disappointment, who knows?
There's plenty of things I'm not too sure about, but one thing I do know is that any day now, I'll know exactly who I am, what I want and where I'm heading. But right now, I'm just enjoying the ride.

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